here's to moving on...and never looking back!

since i'm attempting to start my entire life over tomorrow, i have an extremely large (and probably unrealistic) list of new year's resolutions. i've broken them up into categories to make more sense of it all.

Blogging
post three times a week
comment on something everyday
attend BloggersInSinCity
redesign the site
possibly make the move to wordpress
start a blog series and stick with it
create a lifelist

Day-to-Day Living
get my own place (or one with Justin obvs)
start a hand-written journal
read 50 books in a year
spend more time with girlfriends
take more photographs
stay up later and wake up earlier (i will need more time in my day to do all these other things!)
go greener (starting with canvas grocery bags!)

Get Healthy
work out four times a week
run a 5K in july
cook dinner three nights a week
try one new food weekly (i'm a super picky eater and need to broaden my horizons!)

Get Crafty
create an inspiring workspace
design an inspiration board monthly
learn to knit or crochet (or both)
learn to use the sewing machine i just got for christmas!
put together photo albums
participate in Project 365 (take one picture everyday for a year)
create a recipe box with my mom (cuz i want to remember her handwriting!) 

Sentimental
cry less
laugh more
appreciate the small things
start 2010 fresh. no more looking back!

i would really like to think i could accomplish all of this! i know it's a pretty big list, but after everything i've gone through this year, i just couldn't stop coming up with ways to make the coming year better than this one. so with this i say goodbye to 2009, and welcome to a new year and a new life!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

and be careful tonight :)

because i think sending good thoughts really can make things happen...

My name is brandy. And I have a blog.

And a plea.

I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.

He's a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He's the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He's the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He's a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He's made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He's listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.

The holidays have hit us hard. He's recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He's the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I'm overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.

As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren't sure what's happening. He'll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what's going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as 'brandy's hot awesome dude'). If you don't pray, please keep him in your heart.This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.

I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven't seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).

I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I'm throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn't a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It's just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven't already? Please tell someone you love them today.

I did.

a big end to a crazy year

yesterday was hopefully the end to a horrible situation that has lasted far too long. i still can't go into a lot of detail just yet, because it's not officially over. but that post is in the making, and i'll share it when i can.

let's just say, i quit my job in february with a lot of horrible stuff surrounding my reason, and it wasn't until yesterday that i finally felt some closure. not 100% yet, but i'm hoping i'll have my final answer before the end of the year so i can start 2010 fresh!

2009, my 25th year, was the single worst one i've had to live. quarter life crisis? i don't know a better phrase for what i've been going through. from going through hell at work to leaving my job, to being forced out of my apt by a ridiculous roommate, to moving in with my boyfriend and his mom after only 6 months of dating, from job searching, to short term contracts, to more job searching, to wanting to move and being unable due to short term contracts, it's been an emotional rollar coaster.

i've been trying to overcome all the crap, and think of all the good things that came from this year.

i've said it so many times, but i really honestly would not have made it without Justin by my side. i was so scared that the jumble of living together so soon would destroy us, but we pulled through together and have come out so strong and so happy. after this whirlwind of a year, we know we can get through anything as long as we have each other.

this year also brought my mom and i so much closer. we've had a boxing match relationship for as long as i can remember, but this year was a huge change for us. she stuck by me and believed in me when i needed her the most. she trusted my judgement when i wasn't sure i should trust it myself. and she reminds me everyday that it's worth the fight.

after barely speaking for the last 7 years, my dad and i finally sat down and hashed it out. we said everything that needed to be said, even if we knew it would hurt. we said everything that we were angry about, and instead of arguing about feelings, we finally got to a point where we both understood where the other person was coming from. we're not quite back to the way we used to be, but we're getting there, and it feels good.

 i started this blog, and through it have gotten to know so many amazing people. i've been expanding my social network and branching out of my comfort zone. i'm opening up to the world, finally putting my feelings out there and i look forward to seeing where it goes. i think about BloggersinSinCity and what it would mean if i actually came up with the courage to head out there by myself. i can't even explain what a huge accomplishment this would be for me, the girl who had a panic attack going to the gym by herself.

i feel like i'm coming out of this year a different person. i feel more independent, mature, and confident. i finally have confidence in myself and my decisions. i'm trusting my own judgement and realizing that i do deserve to be happy. i finally realize that i don't need reassurance from other people to know that i'm doing the right thing. i don't need "them" to believe me, for me to know that i'm telling the truth.

i'm coming out of this year changed for the better. i tried to start my year of epic-ness back in August, but there was still so much more crap to go through that i just couldn't concentrate on the good. now that i'm finally reaching a point of moving on, i feel like i can start over.

tomorrow is the last big thing in 2009. the thing that will determine where and how i will start the new year over. will i stay in pittsburgh? or head back to erie? i'm still not sure what i want, but i finally trust myself to make the right decision when the time comes.

<3

update on the job and moving

so after applying for the "dream job" i got a call for an interview, scheduled for this morning. i had a minor meltdown, because i'm STILL not sure that i even want it, but i keep saying if it's meant to be, i'll know when i need to know.

so last night i left work and headed up to erie. i left work a little early because there was supposed to be a huge snowstorm brewing. turns out the weather man was wrong because it was a clear drive the whole way home. it was a nice evening at home with my parents, just prepping for my interview.

then the snow fell.

and fell some more.

and didn't stop falling.

this morning i woke up to find that the school was on a two hour delay, but that interviews would still be held unless school was canceled.  at 7:30 i got the cancellation call. figures, i drove up there for nothing. i worked from home for a while, and watched the snow just continue to pile up. my step-dad woveled three times from 8AM - 3PM! the school told me they're going to see if they can do my interview over the phone or skype so i don't have to drive up there again, possibly twice if i get a second interview. so i'm keeping my fingers crossed on that.

i wanted to head back to pittsburgh but was worried about the snow. everyone kept saying it was only bad in the north, and that if i could get through edinboro, i'd be good to go the rest of the way. so i worked from home for a few hours and headed out around three. they were right. i drove 30 mph and took about double the amount of time it should have, for me to get through edinboro. but after that it was smooth sailing and i still got home by 5! (yea so i speed a little, oh well)

i'm making a pros and cons list for this whole thing and this is what i added today:

CON - the possibility of being stranded due to snow :(
PRO - the possibility of being off work due to snow days :)

now justin and i are getting ready to go out for E-Bell's birthday, and then tomorrow is basketball and christmas shopping and babysitting! i'm pumped. i need a good weekend, before the hell that is coming on tuesday. (more on that later)

i hope you all have a great weekend and i'll be back when i have more updates on this job/moving situation!

more realistic christmas wishes

i've been asked so many times what i want for christmas, that i decided to expand upon my list.  here are a few more things i'd like, that i don't think are too expensive or unrealistic to consider :)

A Project Life kit

 A Gorilla Pod

 

a BuiltNY lunchbag

since Vikram says mine looks like my Gramma crocheted it (which he pronounces CROTCHet-ed btw)

or pretty much anything else from that site, cuz i love it all

50 Photo Projects by Lee Frost

this Vinyl Words and Wall Quote

late to the party

so i just found out about the "Best of 2009 Challenge" two days late, but i really want to participate! i'm sure i won't post everyday, on every prompt, since i just completed nablopomo, but there are some i definitely want to write about!  so i'm going to start here, with the first prompt, but probably skip the second and third one, so i'll be back on track with them from here on out!

Prompt 1 - Trip. What was your best trip in 2009?

this is easy. not only was this the best trip of 2009, but it was also the best trip of my entire life.

last christmas, i bought justin tickets to see a cleveland cavaliers game. instead of just handing him tickets though, i made him a book of things to do while we were there. i booked two nights at the hilton, provided menus to a few different restaurants, and listed day and nighttime activities for us to try. the game i got tickets to wasn't until february, and it just so happened that we both left our jobs earlier that month. we were unemployed, but the trip had already been paid for, and we desperately needed to get out of this city!

 

we left saturday morning, after packing snacks for the two hour car ride. we set the gps, and set off on our first real adventure, just the two of us. when we got to cleveland, and checked in at the hotel, we immediately wanted to check out the city! we walked around for about an hour, just to see what was close by. the game wasn't til sunday night, so we had plenty of time to explore!

saturday night we went out on the town. we had dinner at a delicious restaurant called The Waterstreet Grill, that had the best chocolate/espresso martini i've ever tasted in my life!! i can't remember all the different bars we went to that night, except Flannery's, because we made the cab driver drop us off there when he told us it was a cool place. he was right, we loved it!

sunday was our day to really see some of the attractions on our list. we started out the day with iHop, which we fell in love with. (they're opening one near us in March, and we're counting down the days!) we decided against paying to go into the Rock and Roll HOF, but we drove around it and the Brown's stadium.

don't worry, Alexa, he's only pretending to pee on the Brown's stadium :)

we're pittsburghers, what do you expect?

my favorite part of the weekend was saturday afternoon, when we went on a tour of "A Christmas Story House"!! this was seriously amazing, and if you're ever in cleveland you just have to go there. i promise.

after spending the afternoon exploring, we got ready for the real reason we were in town. the Cavs and justin's man-crush, LeBron James.

first we had dinner and pre-gamed at The Winking Lizard, and then headed over to the Q for the game. we had so much fun!! we had our matching jerseys on, and justin bought a new hat and a "witness" t-shirt at the stadium. the cavs won the game, and we both agreed we need to go back this season! especially now that Shaq is on the team :)

after the game, we went back to Flannery's which ended up being our favorite bar of the weekend! they had live irish music playing, which is always a fun time.

sunday we took another walk, checked out Malley's Chocolate Factory, and headed home.

best.weekend.ever.